"Don't be so hard on yourself, Humiliation is the name of the game"

I don't know how to do "a little bit" of anything. I'm never "kind of" happy, I'm fucking elated. I'm not "kind of " rude, I'm an unstoppable asshole. I'm not "kind of" mad, I'm in a rage. Etc. I'm not quite sure why this is so, but Its impossible for me to have it any other way. I've tried, and failed. I'm one of the nicest people I know. Arguably too nice, in fact. Maybe its because of the simple fact that I can't do a little of anything. I'm not quite sure. I also don't take to many individuals, and when I do, I feel such an affinity for them that I would do anything for them. I'm like a perfect dog. which is why I've been surrounded by my closest friends for so long, and we all look out for eachother. I haven't made "new" friends in so long that I forgot how to do it. I've known everyone in my life for so long. Idk, its almost like when you go from having a ton of best friends to none, you assume that anyone you connect with can fill the best friend void. They really can't. And I end up feeling retarded, For thinking so. I also don't get along with girls, and guys are very good at mistaking my friendliness for flirting. Its really not. But whatever. Shit happens, then you die. Idgaf, all day long.